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Saturday, September 14, 2013

Covenant to do His will

Sometimes Satan really gets on my nerves. We know, through revelation, that God will allow Satan to tempt us. It is part of God's plan for His children, that we are tried and tested and made stronger. But God will not allow us to be tempted above that which we are able to bear. But think about it. I mean, really think about it. If we are tempted, and able to bear that, we are tempted again. This whole time, we are building spiritual muscles, until one day we are able to "endure all things". All things? Right now, as Becca would say, "I am doing life. I am not necessarily doing it well, but I am doing it." Today was one of those days where I prayed in the temple, dropped to my knees in my bathroom, living room, bed room and prayed as I exercised. It has been a day with a loving Father, because no other solace seems to be working. I tend to have to learn the same lesson over and over again. 

I have recently been struggling, trying to figure out why God would uproot a girl, firmly planted in the soil of Provo, Utah and just putting down baby roots in Athens, Georgia, in Logan, Utah. Everyone seems to be from Utah. Everyone seems to know the traditions. Everyone seems to be so sure of themselves. Everyone, except me. Why does He need me in Logan? For anyone who says, "To get an education", I know. But I firmly believe that there is some other reason. If the only reason was to get an education, it wouldn't really matter where I went. But, for some reason it did. 

So, I've been searching for an answer. Nothing spectacular has come yet, but I found comfort in the talk given by Sister Pingree.  She said that she "feared (going to a new land), but I realized I hadchosen to make personal, binding, sacred commitments I meant to keep." At first I thought only of marriage covenants because, let's be honest, that's what I worry about. Not making those covenants in this life. But I then thought about how in the pre-mortal world we made a decision to come here and be tested and tried. Now we have the opportunity to make a covenant that we will continue to do that. This is my mission. Remain faithful to the covenants I have made, continue to make covenants and look forward to new covenants. 

Yes, I will work hard in school. But I will also find the Lord's will for me here in Logan, Utah. 


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