This one needed something seperate because it breaks my heart a little. I promise. Within the last 5 seconds I am still loving everything out of life. But, my question is: did I fail? Everyone talks about BYU as being this place that invests tithing money from members because the general authorities (leaders in the Latter-day Saint church) are invested in their young single adults meeting one another and marrying. Why? Because we know that families can be sealed together for eternity in temples of God and that the only way to enter a temple is by taking steps, including baptism into His church.
So, did I fail? Did I waste their tithing money? I firmly believe that God wants His daughters to be educated, as noted by the talks by Mary N. Cook and the one by Elder and Sister Oaks. I did that. Gained an education. But what about marriage? Leaving here unmarried is terrifying. If I decide venture out beyond the wasatch for graduate school, from where there are maybe 10-20 LDS singles in the area, there is always I chance that I will not marry.
So, what now? Choose faith. God does not make promises that He does not keep and as long as we are striving to live up to the covenants we have made with Him (Always remember Him and keep His commandments) then no blessings will be with-held. Now is a time to employ active waiting. Waiting upon the Lord is not a "sit down and I'll wait for you to bring me blessings" idea. It's more of a "I'll trust in your timing and persevere to bring your work forward in the way you need me to". Things will come in His time. I have quote on my wall that says: Waiting=Trusting. Time to employ faith in the Lord Jesus Christ (and His promises).
1 comment:
So, this is more a response to your last post where you talked about fear. For having forged ahead with your education despite the unknowns, you are already ahead of the game compared to a lot of "grown ups." I took a class last year on building the life we want, and almost the whole class was based on the theme of overcoming fear. Changed my life. I didn't even recognize that a lot of the attitudes I had, and the hesitancy in making choices stemmed from that gosh-awful beast: fear. The fact that you recognize fear means you're going to have a far easier time facing it than someone who doesn't even recognize it's role in his or her own life. You are incredible.
And have you failed? Pshaw. Not a chance. You are an individual. Sometimes as individuals we fall outside of the realm of generalities that society, church, school, whatever, put out there. One path cannot reasonably be another. Keep following your heart and using that brain. Living fully and gratefully ensures success. Your success might be different from someone else's and that is 100% okay.
By the way, you're awesome.
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