It's all about them

You've been waiting, anticipating, this moment for a long time. It seems like you've dreamed about it for years. And you have. But there is someone else who has been waiting, anticipating, even dreading this moment. It's your wedding day, but it's not all about you. It's about them. It's about forming a new family, connecting your family to another.

I've heard so much advice during the last few months about how to go about planning a reception. Most of it goes like this:

"It's your day. Do whatever you want."

Sure. I could do that. I could also cause a lot of misery to the people around me. Or I could just let the most important people in my life plan it. It is still causing them a lot of stress. But in reality, my mom has been dreaming about, and again, dreading, this day for a very long time. I'm not sure how long, but I could imagine it starts before the child is even born. The anticipation for the life ahead. Good parents always hope that they give their children the best, but one day their children have to go seek it for themselves, and all of the sudden parents loose the control they once had.

So, the next time you think "I want to do that because it will make me happy, remember two things: There is long term versus short term happiness and long term happiness comes in creating connections with the people you love. I am definitely still working on this in my own life, but sacrificing, even small things, for those I love has brought about immense happiness. The opposite is true as well. When we are selfish, we often hurt those around us. Just a reminder.